David Russell (via quotedojo)
People come into your life unexpectedly. You don’t think, “This person is going to be important,” or “well, he’s going to be a good friend.” You just one day realize that this person is right here, in front of you, with his running shoes laced up and ready to run around the lake.
You waited for 10 minutes in the hot sun, sitting on the stairs by the sidewalk, squinting at every car that passes. Is that them? What car do they drive again?
Eventually you stood up and began pacing back and forth. My shoes hit the dirt. My legs were tired and not ready - they had lied dormant for months, sidelined by shin pain and countless doctor’s appointments. I wasn’t ready for the Texas heat. I wasn’t ready for the loop - any loop.
But then we ran. I talked. He talked. Chatter eases your nerves, especially when you’re awkward. We looped around and time passed quickly. My legs felt loose and my brain stopped moving at it’s incalculable rate. There were no thoughts - only movements. Only simple answers. Only continued relaxation.
There are very few people in this world who hold a smile that lights up a room. There are even fewer people whose smile can light up a day that has already been brightened by the sun.
But maybe my darkness overshadows such light. My passion and seriousness may put it out in my overwhelming attempts to prove myself. I’m 23 and focused. 23 and trying to prove that I belong in my job position. 23 and trying to prove that I can make it on my own, despite having a low income. 23 and unsure with the choices I’ve made over the past 6 months. 23 and confused.
But in my darkness there is light. In cycling. In running. In looking up into the sky and seeing that God has truly blessed my life. I’m breathing. I’m moving. I’m alive. I love harder than most and therefore suffer harder than most. I give it my all.
I thought I gave everything, but maybe I’m giving up. I’m accepting excuses and my ability to let people leave because I know if they stay the hurt will only continue. If you love, you will hurt. If you can’t love, you can’t hurt. I thought I had abandoned this idea. I did. At least, until a few months ago - because I’ve kept trying to force myself into someone’s life who doesn’t want me there.
Should I cross the bridge? Or should I let it burn, even after he lit the match?